29.9.11
28.9.11
September 28, 2011
Today Sean and Heidi became parents. And I became an aunt. And Brenden an uncle. It's an exciting time for the McQuays and McIntoshes. And little Evette Rose.
The leaves have started to change here. They were once a vibrant green but the colors have begun to fade. Some are a pale green while others are a bright golden yellow. They fall on my car as I drive down Cedar Shoals drive. I find them sitting on my car when I leave in the morning. I'm still waiting and hoping for the fiery oranges and reds to appear. There are so many trees here; the city would look aflame.
I am trying to study for the math section of the GRE but the concepts aren't sticking. The thoughts running in my head keep shoving everything else out of the way.
The leaves have started to change here. They were once a vibrant green but the colors have begun to fade. Some are a pale green while others are a bright golden yellow. They fall on my car as I drive down Cedar Shoals drive. I find them sitting on my car when I leave in the morning. I'm still waiting and hoping for the fiery oranges and reds to appear. There are so many trees here; the city would look aflame.
I am trying to study for the math section of the GRE but the concepts aren't sticking. The thoughts running in my head keep shoving everything else out of the way.
\\
I am so distracted. My thoughts are overwhelmingly loud, drowning out everything else around me. I cannot concentrate on anything.
23.9.11
Planets are big.
Yes, indeed, they are! In fact, planets are bigger than the Moon. And here's a cool video showing that. Another Youtube post today!
Bon Iver: Michicant
I have been playing this song over and over this week. It's a good one.
I was unafraid. I was a boy. I was a tender age.
I was unafraid. I was a boy. I was a tender age.
21.9.11
Today I
- Wore my unwashed hair in a messy bun on the top of my head.
- Learned not to use two spaces after a period. Read here.
- Ate the same leftover food for lunch and dinner.
- Skipped breakfast.
- Listened to my Bon Iver station on Pandora. Got bored of the music in between the Bon Iver songs and just listened to Bon Iver albums instead.
- Studied for the GRE.
- Did two loads of laundry.
- Picked up my husband from school.
- Talked to my sister for two minutes as she walked to her psychology class.
- Fell asleep after dinner and jerked awake ten minutes later when my phone alarm went off.
- Uploaded pictures to Facebook at my sister's request. Realized it was awhile since I last uploaded an album on Facebook.
- Read all of my old unpublished drafts on this blog (there are 46 of them.)
- Learned not to use two spaces after a period. Read here.
- Ate the same leftover food for lunch and dinner.
- Skipped breakfast.
- Listened to my Bon Iver station on Pandora. Got bored of the music in between the Bon Iver songs and just listened to Bon Iver albums instead.
- Studied for the GRE.
- Did two loads of laundry.
- Picked up my husband from school.
- Talked to my sister for two minutes as she walked to her psychology class.
- Fell asleep after dinner and jerked awake ten minutes later when my phone alarm went off.
- Uploaded pictures to Facebook at my sister's request. Realized it was awhile since I last uploaded an album on Facebook.
- Read all of my old unpublished drafts on this blog (there are 46 of them.)
5.9.11
Respite
Today was a Seattle day up until about five o'clock. The sky was gray. The trees were green. The roads were damp. The air was cool and there was a strong smell of earth. And then there was a tornado warning issued for the Athens-Clarke County. I spent the next half hour or so in a closet.
Campus was empty when I dropped Brenden off to practice at the music building. There was, however, a truck dragging a trailer full of porta-potties around.
Back at the house, our neighbors' dogs (and birds?) were throwing fits next door. My GRE vocabulary study time was interrupted by yelps and whining as well as frenzied bird noises. Peregrination, peroration, prestidigitation, stultification.
I woke up this morning at ten-thirty grasping at the remnants of the dreams I had just left behind. I had dreamt of people I missed. People living eight hundred eighty two miles away. Living one thousand nine hundred fifty four miles away. Dead. I wanted so badly to go back to sleep and visit with those dead loved ones I could not call or write or email. We drove up to our old house, made the turn off Ferry Road and there they were, two great-uncles (brothers) sitting on our old porch in rocking chairs we never owned. It's strange. In my dreams, those that are dead in real life always know that they are dead or dying. Perhaps it's my mind reminding me this is temporary. It will not last. They will not last. They didn't.
I woke up and I wanted to shut out the light pouring in from the window. I was willing myself back to sleep but I was awake. I couldn't go back to sleep. And even if I had been able to, my great- uncles would have been gone; everyone I was visiting with last night and this morning was gone.
The strange thing about my desire to go back to my dreams was that these weren't normal dreams. These were anxiety-ridden nightmares. The people living one thousand nine hundred fifty four miles away were telling me they couldn't help me and left me in an empty parking lot as I frantically tried to figure out what I needed to do (though now I can't remember what it was I needed help with). The people living eight hundred eighty two miles away were trying to keep me hidden from others trying to kill me. And the people no longer living were telling me they were going to die as they rocked back and forth in the rocking chairs on the porch of my post- Hurricane Ike childhood home.
I woke up whimpering like a frightened child and I still wanted to go back to those dreams.
Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.
-Jodi Picoult
Campus was empty when I dropped Brenden off to practice at the music building. There was, however, a truck dragging a trailer full of porta-potties around.
Back at the house, our neighbors' dogs (and birds?) were throwing fits next door. My GRE vocabulary study time was interrupted by yelps and whining as well as frenzied bird noises. Peregrination, peroration, prestidigitation, stultification.
I woke up this morning at ten-thirty grasping at the remnants of the dreams I had just left behind. I had dreamt of people I missed. People living eight hundred eighty two miles away. Living one thousand nine hundred fifty four miles away. Dead. I wanted so badly to go back to sleep and visit with those dead loved ones I could not call or write or email. We drove up to our old house, made the turn off Ferry Road and there they were, two great-uncles (brothers) sitting on our old porch in rocking chairs we never owned. It's strange. In my dreams, those that are dead in real life always know that they are dead or dying. Perhaps it's my mind reminding me this is temporary. It will not last. They will not last. They didn't.
I woke up and I wanted to shut out the light pouring in from the window. I was willing myself back to sleep but I was awake. I couldn't go back to sleep. And even if I had been able to, my great- uncles would have been gone; everyone I was visiting with last night and this morning was gone.
The strange thing about my desire to go back to my dreams was that these weren't normal dreams. These were anxiety-ridden nightmares. The people living one thousand nine hundred fifty four miles away were telling me they couldn't help me and left me in an empty parking lot as I frantically tried to figure out what I needed to do (though now I can't remember what it was I needed help with). The people living eight hundred eighty two miles away were trying to keep me hidden from others trying to kill me. And the people no longer living were telling me they were going to die as they rocked back and forth in the rocking chairs on the porch of my post- Hurricane Ike childhood home.
I woke up whimpering like a frightened child and I still wanted to go back to those dreams.
Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.
-Jodi Picoult
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