29.9.11
28.9.11
September 28, 2011
Today Sean and Heidi became parents. And I became an aunt. And Brenden an uncle. It's an exciting time for the McQuays and McIntoshes. And little Evette Rose.
The leaves have started to change here. They were once a vibrant green but the colors have begun to fade. Some are a pale green while others are a bright golden yellow. They fall on my car as I drive down Cedar Shoals drive. I find them sitting on my car when I leave in the morning. I'm still waiting and hoping for the fiery oranges and reds to appear. There are so many trees here; the city would look aflame.
I am trying to study for the math section of the GRE but the concepts aren't sticking. The thoughts running in my head keep shoving everything else out of the way.
The leaves have started to change here. They were once a vibrant green but the colors have begun to fade. Some are a pale green while others are a bright golden yellow. They fall on my car as I drive down Cedar Shoals drive. I find them sitting on my car when I leave in the morning. I'm still waiting and hoping for the fiery oranges and reds to appear. There are so many trees here; the city would look aflame.
I am trying to study for the math section of the GRE but the concepts aren't sticking. The thoughts running in my head keep shoving everything else out of the way.
\\
I am so distracted. My thoughts are overwhelmingly loud, drowning out everything else around me. I cannot concentrate on anything.
23.9.11
Planets are big.
Yes, indeed, they are! In fact, planets are bigger than the Moon. And here's a cool video showing that. Another Youtube post today!
Bon Iver: Michicant
I have been playing this song over and over this week. It's a good one.
I was unafraid. I was a boy. I was a tender age.
I was unafraid. I was a boy. I was a tender age.
21.9.11
Today I
- Wore my unwashed hair in a messy bun on the top of my head.
- Learned not to use two spaces after a period. Read here.
- Ate the same leftover food for lunch and dinner.
- Skipped breakfast.
- Listened to my Bon Iver station on Pandora. Got bored of the music in between the Bon Iver songs and just listened to Bon Iver albums instead.
- Studied for the GRE.
- Did two loads of laundry.
- Picked up my husband from school.
- Talked to my sister for two minutes as she walked to her psychology class.
- Fell asleep after dinner and jerked awake ten minutes later when my phone alarm went off.
- Uploaded pictures to Facebook at my sister's request. Realized it was awhile since I last uploaded an album on Facebook.
- Read all of my old unpublished drafts on this blog (there are 46 of them.)
- Learned not to use two spaces after a period. Read here.
- Ate the same leftover food for lunch and dinner.
- Skipped breakfast.
- Listened to my Bon Iver station on Pandora. Got bored of the music in between the Bon Iver songs and just listened to Bon Iver albums instead.
- Studied for the GRE.
- Did two loads of laundry.
- Picked up my husband from school.
- Talked to my sister for two minutes as she walked to her psychology class.
- Fell asleep after dinner and jerked awake ten minutes later when my phone alarm went off.
- Uploaded pictures to Facebook at my sister's request. Realized it was awhile since I last uploaded an album on Facebook.
- Read all of my old unpublished drafts on this blog (there are 46 of them.)
5.9.11
Respite
Today was a Seattle day up until about five o'clock. The sky was gray. The trees were green. The roads were damp. The air was cool and there was a strong smell of earth. And then there was a tornado warning issued for the Athens-Clarke County. I spent the next half hour or so in a closet.
Campus was empty when I dropped Brenden off to practice at the music building. There was, however, a truck dragging a trailer full of porta-potties around.
Back at the house, our neighbors' dogs (and birds?) were throwing fits next door. My GRE vocabulary study time was interrupted by yelps and whining as well as frenzied bird noises. Peregrination, peroration, prestidigitation, stultification.
I woke up this morning at ten-thirty grasping at the remnants of the dreams I had just left behind. I had dreamt of people I missed. People living eight hundred eighty two miles away. Living one thousand nine hundred fifty four miles away. Dead. I wanted so badly to go back to sleep and visit with those dead loved ones I could not call or write or email. We drove up to our old house, made the turn off Ferry Road and there they were, two great-uncles (brothers) sitting on our old porch in rocking chairs we never owned. It's strange. In my dreams, those that are dead in real life always know that they are dead or dying. Perhaps it's my mind reminding me this is temporary. It will not last. They will not last. They didn't.
I woke up and I wanted to shut out the light pouring in from the window. I was willing myself back to sleep but I was awake. I couldn't go back to sleep. And even if I had been able to, my great- uncles would have been gone; everyone I was visiting with last night and this morning was gone.
The strange thing about my desire to go back to my dreams was that these weren't normal dreams. These were anxiety-ridden nightmares. The people living one thousand nine hundred fifty four miles away were telling me they couldn't help me and left me in an empty parking lot as I frantically tried to figure out what I needed to do (though now I can't remember what it was I needed help with). The people living eight hundred eighty two miles away were trying to keep me hidden from others trying to kill me. And the people no longer living were telling me they were going to die as they rocked back and forth in the rocking chairs on the porch of my post- Hurricane Ike childhood home.
I woke up whimpering like a frightened child and I still wanted to go back to those dreams.
Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.
-Jodi Picoult
Campus was empty when I dropped Brenden off to practice at the music building. There was, however, a truck dragging a trailer full of porta-potties around.
Back at the house, our neighbors' dogs (and birds?) were throwing fits next door. My GRE vocabulary study time was interrupted by yelps and whining as well as frenzied bird noises. Peregrination, peroration, prestidigitation, stultification.
I woke up this morning at ten-thirty grasping at the remnants of the dreams I had just left behind. I had dreamt of people I missed. People living eight hundred eighty two miles away. Living one thousand nine hundred fifty four miles away. Dead. I wanted so badly to go back to sleep and visit with those dead loved ones I could not call or write or email. We drove up to our old house, made the turn off Ferry Road and there they were, two great-uncles (brothers) sitting on our old porch in rocking chairs we never owned. It's strange. In my dreams, those that are dead in real life always know that they are dead or dying. Perhaps it's my mind reminding me this is temporary. It will not last. They will not last. They didn't.
I woke up and I wanted to shut out the light pouring in from the window. I was willing myself back to sleep but I was awake. I couldn't go back to sleep. And even if I had been able to, my great- uncles would have been gone; everyone I was visiting with last night and this morning was gone.
The strange thing about my desire to go back to my dreams was that these weren't normal dreams. These were anxiety-ridden nightmares. The people living one thousand nine hundred fifty four miles away were telling me they couldn't help me and left me in an empty parking lot as I frantically tried to figure out what I needed to do (though now I can't remember what it was I needed help with). The people living eight hundred eighty two miles away were trying to keep me hidden from others trying to kill me. And the people no longer living were telling me they were going to die as they rocked back and forth in the rocking chairs on the porch of my post- Hurricane Ike childhood home.
I woke up whimpering like a frightened child and I still wanted to go back to those dreams.
Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.
-Jodi Picoult
10.8.11
Wednesday
Today Brenden has music diagnostic exams on campus so I'm at home by myself for a good portion of the day.
The maintenance guy came and fixed some things. The ATT guy came and set up our phone and internet. The trash guy came and brought us a trash can. I'm currently waiting for a representative to answer my call on Uniden's Customer Care Line. The pre-recorded messages keep telling me that they will be with me in "just a moment" and to "please hold for just a moment longer." Also there's some guy with a Southern accent that pops up at the end of every recorded message cycle advertising the now available bluetooth cellular headset that comes with a bonus car adapter. The music is perhaps the best part though. It reminds me of an early nineties video game. I can't recall the exact name of the one I'm thinking of but I've got a specific one in mind.
I've looked at some jobs on UGA's human resources website. I've looked at some graduate programs on UGA's graduate school website. I've looked up a recipe for chicken and gnocchi soup. And now I'm blogging.
(Sidenote: I just got off the phone with the guy from Uniden and tried to figure out what happened to my music. I had been sitting with the phone on speaker while I was waiting but now my early nineties video game soundtrack complete with Southern sales rep has gone.)
This year will be interesting for me. I will be job hunting until I find a job. I will be home/volunteering until I find a job. I might also be applying for graduate programs. Maybe I'll learn how to use my sewing machine. I could finally read all of those books I've been buying this summer. I can take dance lessons. Catch up on the sleep I lost these past few years. Learn a new hobby. Review the Dewey Decimal System. Write a book. Give homemaking a try. See if I like it. Try to like it if I don't.
I think my biggest problem with finding a job is knowing it's temporary. Because it's temporary (and because I'm not sure for how long it will be temporary- two years or until next fall) I really don't know what I want to do. Guess I should figure that out. Brenden's only been gone for part of one day and I've had people at the house for a good part of that day and I have tons of unpacking to do and I'm in the middle of reading three different books and I'm still bored. Ridiculously bored.
The maintenance guy came and fixed some things. The ATT guy came and set up our phone and internet. The trash guy came and brought us a trash can. I'm currently waiting for a representative to answer my call on Uniden's Customer Care Line. The pre-recorded messages keep telling me that they will be with me in "just a moment" and to "please hold for just a moment longer." Also there's some guy with a Southern accent that pops up at the end of every recorded message cycle advertising the now available bluetooth cellular headset that comes with a bonus car adapter. The music is perhaps the best part though. It reminds me of an early nineties video game. I can't recall the exact name of the one I'm thinking of but I've got a specific one in mind.
I've looked at some jobs on UGA's human resources website. I've looked at some graduate programs on UGA's graduate school website. I've looked up a recipe for chicken and gnocchi soup. And now I'm blogging.
(Sidenote: I just got off the phone with the guy from Uniden and tried to figure out what happened to my music. I had been sitting with the phone on speaker while I was waiting but now my early nineties video game soundtrack complete with Southern sales rep has gone.)
This year will be interesting for me. I will be job hunting until I find a job. I will be home/volunteering until I find a job. I might also be applying for graduate programs. Maybe I'll learn how to use my sewing machine. I could finally read all of those books I've been buying this summer. I can take dance lessons. Catch up on the sleep I lost these past few years. Learn a new hobby. Review the Dewey Decimal System. Write a book. Give homemaking a try. See if I like it. Try to like it if I don't.
I think my biggest problem with finding a job is knowing it's temporary. Because it's temporary (and because I'm not sure for how long it will be temporary- two years or until next fall) I really don't know what I want to do. Guess I should figure that out. Brenden's only been gone for part of one day and I've had people at the house for a good part of that day and I have tons of unpacking to do and I'm in the middle of reading three different books and I'm still bored. Ridiculously bored.
27.7.11
Today I
- Packed many things
- Bought lemonade from a children's lemonade stand
- Watched a documentary on the history of ice cream
- Researched trail running
Currently I am considering cutting my own hair tonight so I will be forced to actually go out and get it fixed. I've been wanting something new since last summer but haven't cared enough to do anything about it. I haven't even had a trim since before my wedding. This entire summer has consisted of me pulling my hair into a bun on the back/top of my head. I've gotten to the point where I can't even find my hairbrush anymore because I haven't bothered brushing my hair in so long. Cave woman Natalie. At least I still wash it.
- Bought lemonade from a children's lemonade stand
- Watched a documentary on the history of ice cream
- Researched trail running
Currently I am considering cutting my own hair tonight so I will be forced to actually go out and get it fixed. I've been wanting something new since last summer but haven't cared enough to do anything about it. I haven't even had a trim since before my wedding. This entire summer has consisted of me pulling my hair into a bun on the back/top of my head. I've gotten to the point where I can't even find my hairbrush anymore because I haven't bothered brushing my hair in so long. Cave woman Natalie. At least I still wash it.
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