Who I've Wanted to Be

Here is a list of careers I've considered throughout the years:

Elementary School:

• Pediatrician- Not only did I know I wanted to be a doctor, I knew what kind of doctor I wanted to be. It was also the only doctor I'd really had much interaction with at the time.
• Writer- I missed my third grade yearbook class picture because I was spending recess in the cafeteria writing a ghost story. At the time when I found out, I was sad because I wasn't in the picture. But now I just think that's how it was supposed to be.

Middle School:

• Any kind of doctor- Medical school was always one of my plans. A career as a doctor was something planted in my mind when I was very young. It's also an idea I occasionally entertain now but usually just as one of those, "What if I had done this..." thoughts.

High School:

• Psychiatrist- After my first hospitalization my freshman year of high school, I got a really cool psychiatrist from Russia. I can't remember her name because I could never pronounce it correctly. I was still leaning towards a medical degree at this point.
• Clinical Psychologist- I decided I liked the person I talked to more than the person who prescribed me my drugs so this career looked a little more attractive.
• Graphic Designer- I like when things look nice. I like designing things to make them look nice. In high school I had a penchant for making mix CDs and then designing CD covers and actually drawing on the CDs themselves. I like words and I like pictures. I also like when they are aesthetically combined. Well-designed posters and restaurant menus make me happy.
• Art Therapist- I took an art class my senior year and loved it. We went over the very basics for the first month and then we were given free reign of the school's art supplies. There were a total of four people in that class so we would all be working on different projects and still getting the individual attention we needed. (I remember at one point my friend was doing a watercolor, I was working on an acrylic painting, another kid was doing a very detailed pencil drawing, while the fourth person was doing a stained glass piece.) I knew I would never be good enough at making art to make any kind of career out of it but I thought I could somehow share that therapeutic effect art has with others.

And now I'm just going to list the ones I'd considered while in college without explanations because I'm lazy.

College:

• Clinical Psychologist
• Marriage and Family Therapist
• Social Worker
• Elementary School Librarian
• Big City Librarian (official title?)
• Elementary School Teacher
• University Professor
• Researcher
• School Counselor

Post-Graduation:

• Librarian- I love books. I love them with a rather large portion of my heart. I had an awesome school librarian while I was in elementary and middle school. She knew I was enthusiastic about books and was enthusiastic about that fact. She would get new books and set them aside for me without putting them up on the shelf because she wanted me to read them first. She would let me check out more books than the allowed limit and I could check out books that weren't supposed to be checked out (like classroom collections for assigned readings.) I could also keep books longer than we were usually supposed to. She liked me and I liked her and she set an amazing example of the kind of librarian that should exist in all libraries. Basically, I've wanted to be that librarian for someone else. Books can change lives and good librarians catalyze that process.
• High School English Teacher- I like books and I like writing. I want others to like them also. Similar to my librarian friend, my high school English teachers were really great. One of them didn't think my essays were always that great and that discouraged me but I don't hold that against him anymore.
• Pharmacist- Medications have interested me since my psychiatrist first told me how Prozac and other SSRIs work. Whenever I get a new medication, I thoroughly read their little information papers and then often look them up online to read more about them. This is not just for safety- I'm also just really curious. When I overdosed in May 2008, I didn't tell the nurse what medications I had taken (excedrin, benadryl, nyquil gelcaps), instead I told her the exact number of milligrams I had consumed of aspirin, dextromethorphan, acetaminophen, caffeine, diphenhydramine, and doxylamine succinate. <--Probably a bad example of my interest in pharmacy. Anyway, the way drugs work has always interested me. Also, I didn't do too poorly in my science classes.
• Stay-at-home mom- I realize that it's kind of weird that I'd never really considered this option seriously until fairly recently, especially having been raised in a church that emphasizes the importance of the mother in the home. I just always thought I'd have some kind of full-time job for the rest of my life until I retired. It wasn't until I met Brenden and we talked about getting married and having a family that I realized that this could potentially be an option. Growing up, I never calculated getting married and having a family into my educational and career pursuits. Basically, since I was child I just assumed I would get a bachelor's degree and then a MD or a PhD. And THEN I'd get married and have kids. My mom worked full-time and all of my friends' mothers worked full-time. It made sense to me. Still having trouble reconciling this option with my lifetime's worth of ideas of how things were supposed to be.

Also, right now I just really, really, really want to be in graduate school. Unfortunately, I haven't decided what career path I want to take and we don't have the money for me to just take classes because I want to. Lamesauce.