School

I so desperately want to be back at Brigham Young University.

All the times I had told myself I was never going to end up at BYU, that it was my last choice, that I would rather go almost anywhere else but BYU, I wish I could've seen how very much I was going to love it there. I wish I could've seen that it was actually a place where I was going to fit in and find the friends I had longed for. But how was I to know? When making my college decision I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had settled on a major (that I eventually changed) but besides that, I didn't know who I wanted to become.

Now that I know who I want to be, I am locked out from the place I can be best trained.

I know I can still become that person through other experiences, other universities. But I feel my progress may be slowed. My progress has already been slowed by my sheer idiocy. There are consequences for my actions and I have no one to blame but myself if I cannot go back to BYU.